Journal exercise on 10 assertive rights

Answer the following questions in your journal. They are designed to help you assess your level of assertiveness.


How can I keep others and myself from being judgemental? Why is it so easy to judge another? How does my fear of judgement reduce my assertiveness?


Why do people demand a reason for others’ behaviour? How does constant rationalising and defending my behaviour affect my relationship with others?


How do I feel about being blamed for others’ problems? How fair is this? What is the usual outcome of such blaming?


How comfortable am I with allowing others to have a change of mind? Why is it so important for others to be predictable? What is the worst thing that could happen if I changed my position midway through an argument?


How comfortable am I living in a situation in which the outcome is unknown? Why do I have such a great need for certainty in my decision making? How comfortable am I in taking risks?


Why is it so hard to admit to making a mistake? How well do I accept another’s admission of making a mistake? What is the benefit of allowing others to make mistakes?


How easily do I express disapproval to others? How easily do I become devastated by such expressions of disappointment when they are pointed at me? Why does prior approval by others have to be a prerequisite before I take action?


What part does logic play in my life? Why does logic become so important in my arguments? How comfortable am I with the “grey areas” in life?


How important is mind reading in my life? How has unclear communication with others, assumptions and jumping to wrong conclusions affected me in the past? How freely do I admit I don’t understand the other person?


Why is perfection so important to me? How can I learn to live with another’s imperfections? Why does it bother me to say, “I don’t care?”

Writing out answers to the above questions will give you an idea just how non-assertive you may be. It could lead to you being defensive or aggressive instead of being assertive. Being assertive contributes to your sense of self-worth and self-esteem. It is the image you have of yourself.

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